Diary #39 – Fiona Blaylock Naked Art Show Raided by NTPD!

(Diary #39 – Mom’s Instagrams of me ‘n Fiona in ballet clothes)

You know how agent 007 has a license to kill? Yeah. I think my sister has a license to piss off. I was genuinely happy for Fiona when she told me she’d rented a space in New Toulouse and was opening a photographic art gallery. When she said her first show would be “tasteful nudes,” I imagined that meant she’d found a young photographer who’d found a compelling way of working with the human figure.

It never even occurred to me that it could mean she’d poured through decades of family albums and created a dubious collection of The Blaylock Family naked!!! OMG.

Fiona!!!

As you see in the photo above, when I went to her opening on Saturday and saw the brazen display of myself, my mother, my daughter, and many other family members all naked, I actually passed out! The human animal is nothing if not resilient, and today, Monday, 48 hours later, I’d adjusted a bit and returned to Fiona’s gallery to photograph her installation for this blog post. (I have to post it for her because typing words on the Internet is too hard for Fiona) First shocked by the installation, today I was shocked again, this time by its absence! Apparently the New Toulouse Police Department shut her show down on obscenity complaints from neighbors. The show was only up for 24 hours when NTPD closed it down. When I arrived with my documentary crew today, all we found was an empty gallery.

Now what?

I saved space in today’s edition of iRez for a Fiona article and now all we have to show is an empty gallery. Hmm… perhaps we should run something slightly less scandalous. My mother was a diplomat in the Reagan Administration and she dragged Fiona and I across the globe in her travels. In addition to being a good Republican, my mother was a total ballet mom. Whatever you do, don’t get caught complaining that your toe shoes hurt in the Blaylock house! When we traveled ma always had an assistant call ahead and find space in a local ballet school. She was determined to circumnavigate the globe without having Fiona or I ever miss a single ballet class.

Mom’s been posting our cheesy ballet pix on Instagram since at least 1977. I know that’s earlier than many people even had cell phones or the Internet, but as a cold war era government lackee ma always had access to the cool toys. Anyway, these old ballerina pix aren’t half as embarrasing as Fiona’s not-so-tasteful family nudes. So here’s a little portfolio of some of Ma’s Instagrams of us.

If you want to follow ma’s pix, on Instagram on your phone she’s: maggiebla
Or on the web you can visit: instagram.com/maggiebla
For more Fiona antics: irez.uk/tag/fiona-blaylock

Click any image to enter “slide show” mode, then use arrow keys to scroll thru pix
(photo near bottom with 3 girls in it is: Left: Fiona (big chest) Right: Me (flat chest) and the pasty white girl in the center is our friend Trilby)

Cape Town, 1977

New York City, 1978

New York City, 1979

Washington DC, 1982

Washington DC, 1983

Washington DC, 1983

Castries, St. Lucia, 1984

Castries, St. Lucia, 1984

Sydney Harbour, 1985

Sydney, 1985